Sunday, August 31, 2014

Day Thirty Nine


So for the first time in over a month I failed to reach my goal and ended the week 2 Miles Shy of the 50 I was aiming for. Yesterday morning I was convinced I was going to hit 60 Miles let alone the minimum 50 but I didnt hit neither. The Blister on the bottom of my foot, right below my toes was bad enough to prevent me from walking but the overall damage was not anything to worry about. I had planned on taking tomorrow off so I will have more than enough time to heal but I will have to take it slow come Tuesday. Another lesson learned, do double up you previous record when your body is not prepared to meet such a lofty goal. I felt absolutely great yesterday outside of the discomfort on the bottom of my foot after the 16th mile. I should have just toughed out 2 more miles but I didnt and after about 1 hour the blister was in full effect and I was laid up for two day because of it. Today being day one of my self prescribed bed rest and I just hated it, I felt more hungry today than any other day this month but fortunately I didnt act on it and kept everything low hoping that I can salvage my weigh in tomorrow morning. I am not expecting a drastic drop in weight this week, one reason is because I dont feel it and the other because I dont believe I pushed hard enough and of course had the one bad day of eating fast food. 

Not beating myself up though, the family will be here tomorrow and we are doing the first ever Family NFL Fantasy Draft. This should be fun and I look forward to hanging out with my brother and my nephew. My brother in law, nephew and myself are already in a fantasy football league so I have a really good idea who to draft and how to build my team. 

Gosh I hope my weigh in goes well, thats the one thing that can take me to my knees and knowing that I cant go walking tomorrow just will piss me off more. Last time I had a bad weigh in I followed it up with an 8lb loss the week after but that was with a full week to work with, I hate losing a day when the rest of my body feels great. Guess I cant dwell on this to much and just have to roll with the punches and heal up so I can hit it hard come Tuesday. I am searching for a work out video to do so I can supliment some of my walking and maybe avoid the blister in the future. 

I am so damn hungry right!

Off to bed I go with my fingers and toes crossed. :)

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Day Thirty Eight

After having a free day yesterday I decided to really push myself today so I could hopefully not lose any ground. Im nervous about the weight in on Monday because I know the longer I go the harder it will be to lose the weight. I have averaged no less than 5lbs a week outside of my second week where I didnt even lose a pound. I just want to get as close as I can to 260 so I can have a chance at hitting 250ish before the end of September.

I completed 16 miles today and was aiming to get to 20 but my feet began to hurt and I may have a blisster forming on my left foot but its ok. So all totaled up I am at 48 miles completed for the week and will only have to do a short 2 mile walk to complete my goal. I was secretly aiming for 60 miles but now I have to take it easy so 50 miles will have to do. I was really motivated and I started off my day really early. I ate fruit for both Breakfast and Dinner and had a good portion of Beef Strips and Broccoli and Cauliflower with cheese for Lunch.

I dont know where all the energy came from but I felt really good all day, I probably could have gone for over 20 miles if my feet didnt give out on me so that makes me feel even better. I am going to finish my 50 miles tomorrow morning and then take the rest of Sunday and Monday off to let my feet rest for the upcoming week of jogging. I was thinking of jogging a little today but I didn't want to mix things up to much so I just stuck to the plan. I am really tired right now so I hope that translates to a good nights sleep and I just hope my feet hold up long enough for me to finish strong, I have hit my mark every week since I started so I dont want to start dropping the ball now. Yesterday was good for me in the sense that I was able to have a off day and I didnt use it as an excuse to quit or to waver from the overall plan. I didnt even second guess it which is really knew because old me would have ran with it and began to gain all the weight back. Here's looking for another 25 days consistency and positive results before I have another down day and eat some naughty stuff.

I spoke to Mrs. Posada today which was awesome, I always look forward to speaking to her since it doesn't occur to often. She gave me some info on the Apartment Complex that she and I talked about and gave me something to work towards. It was a bit out of my price range but I now understand what I have to make to be in a safe, secure and well taken care of area. We talked about a few more things but she and her great senses picked up that I was on one of my walks and we ended the talk shortly there after. It was also nice to have a distraction while on my walk, I finished nearly the entire last mile without even noticing.

Well I feel myself dossing off, cant wait to finish my 50 miles tomorrow and then have a great weigh in on Monday.


This song came played on my Pandora account and I just loved it! Its very similar to how I motivate myself to keep on pushing...I build on my weakness and embrace the idea that I will become better.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Day Thirty Seven

What a day....

Having to be up by 4am was not easy at all but I was able to do so I can get my mom to the airport on time. We where out the door right at 4am and about 30mins into out trip I got an email that the plane was going to be delayed. It didnt bother me much because I had planned on walking my mom to her gate so the delay would just allow us to have breakfast before she left. We arrived at the airport a little before 6am and then where through security about 45mins later, the the next email arrived. The plane was delayed further and now would not depart until 11am. It was not even 7am yet so that upset me a bit but I was happy that I walked my mom through security because I dont know what she would have done without me being there. For being The Los Angeles International Airport they had only 2 option of where to eat. One was a Seafood place that just made my stomach turn and the other was Burger King. I gave in and after 35 days I had my first bite of fast food that was not a salad, I got a breakfast sandwich with some real greasy tots. It was not all that good but because the night before I had a small salad for dinner I was really hungry so it hit the spot. My mom and I hung out in the terminal, we talked throughout and I showed her how to watch her favorite tv show on Hulu Plus. The time flew by and before I knew it she was off to Idaho and I had a nice walk ahead of me just to get back to my car. Because of the delay I ended paying $21.00 for parking which upset me a bit but what do you do, the lady that took my money was really nice so it made it easier to bare.

It was about noon before I got out of the airport and I decided that since I was in LA I might as well go sight seeing so I set out to The Hollywood Walk Of Fame.

Here are some pictures that I took:

 I ended up walking about 4 miles or so which would have been good if I didnt decide to eat a rather large slice of NY Style Pizza. It was really good but kinda killed my momentum since I had eaten such an unhealthy breakfast. The walking was really fun though and all the sights where new to me so I really enjoyed them all. I stayed about 2 hours or so and then decided to head back home because I knew I was going to hit traffic on the way back. I was really tired on the drive so I stopped and purchased my first soda in almost 2 months and oh man did that wake me up. While driving back I called a friend of mine to keep me awake, got to love my blue tooth system in my car. I was on the freeway for almost 3 hours, but we had a great conversation and the time flew by.

I passed out the moment I got home, I knew I was super tired because my room was ridiculously hot and it didnt bother me at all. When I awoke It was really late and I decided to call the day a loss because that what it was. I was defeated today but in a away I was ok with it, I went out to Jack in the box for dinner and got those tacos I have been craving for over a month and ended my day with a full belly. I didnt count any walking I did today because of all the food I ate so I am still at 32 miles for the week and the goal is still 50+ which I will get to. Tomorrow will be my comeback and I will make up for today in regards to the walking but I am not worried about the food to much because I was really really good this week and I still have 2 full days to get some great work outs in. I have set some lofty goals for myself tomorrow so lets see if I can achieve them and really set my self up for success.

The day was long and full of mixed feeling regarding what I ate and the amount of walking I did but I will not beat myself up or use this as a reason to slow down. I will push as hard as I can tomorrow and finish this week of as strong as I started it.

Man that fast food was good though.... :)


Thursday, August 28, 2014

Day Thirty Six

Damn it was HOT today!

For the first time in over a week I was off on my morning 4 mile walk by 7:30am which was a real nice change. There was still a fresh breeze and I knocked it out pretty quick considering the fact that I was half asleep for the first mile. When I got home I decided to have some fruit and was really looking forward to getting in another 4 miles before noon. The idea I had was to push my self hard today because tomorrow was gonna be a not so normal schedule. When I checked the weather at around 11ish it was already 95 degrees out and only getting hotter. I learned my lesson from walking in that type of heat a few weeks ago and I didnt plan on repeating the same mistake. So I got a little work done at home, very little as I did take a nice nap once I realized I was skipping the day walk for an evening walk. For lunch I had some left over vegetable stir fry and some meat that my mom had made the night before. It was really good, I am gonna start a recipe book so that I can keep up this diet once I get to LA in the very near future.

At about 5pm I was really restless and wanted to get my walk going, my weather app stated it was still in the mid 90's but I knew the sun would start setting around 6pm so I got ready to go. I left the house at 5:30pm and did feel the heat while on the first 2 miles but after that it cooled off a bit and I finished my walking for the day with ease. I had planned on eating my salad once I got home but before I could I had mentioned some of the flying rules to my mom and she freaked out because she was not aware. So we had to do some last minute planning which I handled, my previous job left me with many talents and today the useful one was last minute packing for the airport. So we hit up Target and got everything she needed and then she adjusted her suitcase. All this extra stuff put me behind schedule and I didn't eat my salad until about 8:30pm. I was just happy that I had a salad ready and that it was on the lighter side so I am not feeling as guilty. My mom is gonna be gone for a week visiting her sister which makes me so happy because she has not scene her sister in years.  This has been a long time coming and I have been pushing for her to get this done but now I dont get to see my mom for a week and that will be weird. Since I have been back in California she has been my biggest supporter by far in my weight loss journey and on top of that I just enjoy hanging out with her. I spent so many years away in Nevada that I missed out on a lot so I have been doing my best to make up for that within my limitations.

Tomorrow I plan on finding somewhere to walk in LA, my moms flight begins to board at 7:30am so I will have a fair amount of time to find a good place. I may even drive around some potential areas that I am interested in living in. I should be able to avoid traffic for the most part but I have nothing to really do so I am in no rush. I do hope to be home no later than one so I can have lunch since finding a fast food place that fills my need of no carbs is pretty much non existent. Its gonna be nice to be out of the house, I may even swing my some schools in the area and see what I am getting myself into.

Well I need to hit the hay early, it was a pretty good day and if I get my walking in tomorrow I will consider my time in LA a win as well.


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Day Thirty Five

Another day in the books!

I think that because I plan to move on from walking next week that maybe I have disenchanted myself with walking and that's why I have hated it so much these last few days. I knock them out fast every time I do them but everyday now someone jogs past me and I just hate my walk even more. But then a really good song comes on and I get deep in thought and I enjoy the heck out of it. Its a love and hate relationship I have here with my walking and I am sure I will miss it whenever I do move on. For every walk that I was on that I wanted to end there are so many days I wish I just would have kept on going. I am blessed to be in a position where I can put all my energy into something so positive and sometimes challenging. Whats funny is that the challenging part is not physical, its all mental and I do enjoy a mental battle. In the morning when I am trying to convince myself to stay in bed I find myself needing to figure out knew ways to get myself out of bed. Sometimes I use the guilt trip and others I challenge  myself to be better and so far I have always gotten out of bed. Its the really hard mornings that pay off because if I can get up and going on those days then the rest are pretty easy.

I had some fruit this morning for breakfast, I love me some fruit in the morning. I figured I would have gotten over Plums and Nectarines but I have not, I love them so much. For lunch I had a Cobb Salad which i added a lot of extra vegetables and it came out pretty good. My favorite of the day was Dinner because it was the best salad I had made in a long time. I chopped up some tomato, cucumber, onion, avocado and 2 hard boiled eggs. I placed the lettuce in the bowl with a splash of Vinegar and Oil Dressing and then put my chopped vegetables on it. I then placed my eggs around the bowl with some cheese and a plash of Simple Dressing Ranch and then gobbled it up. When people see what I eat they always feel bad for me but I really enjoy it. Dont get me wrong I really miss the fast food and the carbs but I will get to enjoy them soon enough. Like I tell people, I am not giving these things up forever, its just for a little while.

The highlight of my day was when I got a message from Selah Gitlin whom I will always remember as Miss Lana. She and I spent some time together doing our best to shape the lives of the many at risk youth that walked through our dessert doors in Nevada. What I remember the most about her was her amazing smile and how unique she was in her approach with the students. She was someone I knew always knew played on the same team as me and I could always rely on her support. She was the heart of Academic Program and we still talked about how great she was in the weeks leading to my departure. She had some great tips for me and of course a wonderful amount of support and positive vibes. I am going out tomorrow and picking up some Epsom Salts so I can try it in a bath and hope it eases some of the aches. Also she brought up the melatonin which I forgot about and will also be picking some of that up so I can work on getting some sleep. As she pointed out, I do think that as I drop weight that the sleep issues will resolve themselves as I do see them getting better just not fast enough. I always welcome and enjoy any comments but when its someone I have looked up to for the way that they went after and built the life that they wanted, it really makes my day.

So I finished another 8 miles today and that takes me up to 24 for the week, I have no doubt that I will make my goal of 50 miles. The questions is now if I can push myself even further than that?....We Shall See!


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Day Thirty Four

Today was a good day.

A lot of my financial issues seem to be working itself out which is helping in the stress department. I hope they continue the course and I get everything situated asap. Because I spent the entire morning tending to these issues I didn't get off to my first walk until about 2pm. My brother also spent the morning here so it was easy to push the running off and even easier to try and convince myself not to do it. It was pretty hot during my first 4 mile walk but school had let out so the streets where busy and I wasn't dealing with the heat alone which kinda made it better. I spent the last few days listening to Christmas Music on my walks as it seems to put me in a better mood and distracts me a bit so I think I will hold onto that for awhile. I hit a good stride and then a chain of great music came on and the first 3 miles where done in a flash. I always love the last mile, I push hard to get it done because I know I have a cool room and comfy bed waiting for me at home. Also knowing that I did a good job on the issues that really control me gave me an extra pick me up in my step. I will try to not wait this long to do my walk though in the future since there where a lot more people out and they kinda got in my way.

Since my brother came pretty early I only sneaked in a cup of coffee in the am and hung out with home whenever I was not on the phone. He got hungry and wanted to go get something to eat but because of my diet the options where limited to whom ever had a good salad for me. I hate that my family goes out of their way for me like that but I love the support, I couldn't do this without them. We decided to go to Jack in the Box so he and my brother in law can get a burger and I could get there grilled chicken southwest salad. It was pretty good, the dressing is what really made the salad. It was so good that I could have drank it in substitute to my water. My brother ended up leaving slightly before my first walk of the day so after I had returned I had a shorter amount of time to recover for walk number 2 than usual. I have been hooked on Top Gear (UK Version), it really fills the void that was left when I finished 30 Rock a few weeks ago. At about 5:30pm I ate my dinner which was a Ham and Vegetable stir fry my mom had made with some beans and an egg. I took care of my pup real quick because I knew that it would be dark when I returned and the headed off for my second 4 mile walk of the day.

I really did not want to go on this walk, I mean really. I tried so hard to convince myself that I would make up for the day tomorrow and that it was ok to deviate from the plan. Like every other time before I still got up and put my nike's okay and headed out. The music made it more bearable but I still hated it for the most part. There where alot of people out tonight running, I have decided that after this week I will be doing a jogging schedule instead of my normal walking schedule. I have a lot of planning to do but I do think I am ready as long as I do my homework and stretch. Hopefully I can push off another 4lbs or so and be in the 275lbs mark which is where I think I can begin jogging at a consistent pace.

So like I said at the top, Today was a good day.


PS: I did eat a Nectarine for a snack today.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Day Thirty Three

Its 8pm here and this is the earliest I have sat down to write my blog in a very long time.

So one month in and I have lost 23.5lbs 

I started at a very plump 302.5 and have worked my way down to a still plump but not so very 279lbs. It was not easy by any means and I expect it to get harder as I continue on my journey to 230lbs and a new life. I've walked around 200 miles this month and have spent the last two weeks on a very low carb diet while all keeping my Calories under 1800 per day. The hardest part I have had is not fighting the cravings but not giving into the negativity that makes this journey so much harder. When I started I never knew what it was to lose 20lbs let alone what it felt like to begin and maintain a diet as long as I have. My confidence has grown but more importantly my understanding of what commitment to ones self actually means. Not only have I maintained my diet I have not cheated or even given myself a free day food wise because I knew that it would put me one step further from my goal. I know my personal life will have its ups and downs but if I stay the course I know that I wont have any down in my journey, just a few bumps. Im faster than I was when I started and I have more energy, I am really starting to feel different and I want more. So I am happy with my results this month, it was done the smart way and in no way did I put myself or my journey in any danger. This next month will be fun as I start to introduce different types of activities to my routine and really shake things up.

One thing I have done is neglect MyFitnessPal and I need to avoid doing that because that step one down a road I dont want any part of. Justifying that I dont need it or I can do with out it is a short cut that wont get me anywhere so I will buckle down on that a bit.

In the morning I had a Nectarine prior to going on my walk, I finished a 4 mile walk a but faster than usual which is always nice. For lunch I ate some left over lentil soup with fajitas in it, it was not that much and mostly broth but it was really good. I decided to split my last 4 miles of the day into two so I can have something to do later on. My afternoon 2 mile walk was quick and fun due to the new mix of music I have and my imagination. Later on in the day my mom made some sliced ham with mixed vegetables and it was just amazing. So simple and yet so good, I wish I could cook as good as she does. I finished my dinner at about 6pm and then took care of my pup before heading off, again it was a quick 2 miles and I really enjoyed it. I will do 8 miles a day until Thursday and then Friday will be a 10 mile day and I will finish the 50 miles on the weekend. I am doing my best to push myself in regards to my pace so that I can get closer to jogging and then running. I know I only have a few more weeks in this leg of my journey so I am going all out before I begin the more physical part of my body shaping.

I am planning on doing a video blog this week, hope it turns out well. I really need a hair cut.

That's it for now.... #NeverSettle

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Day Thirty Two

Tomorrow's weigh in has me all worried, I really want it and need it to go well. I finished this week with 48 Miles and next weeks goal will be 50 Miles. I feel really good right now physically which is great because the last couple of days I have felt just horrible. I am doing a better job of not allowing the stressful moments to essentially run my life and its paying off. I woke up really early this morning and decided to go out and buy my family doughnuts even though I cannot have some. I really wanted them to enjoy then and hopefully understand that just because I cannot have them it doesn't mean they cant either. After returning with the doughnuts I cleaned the kitchen and then decided to go for my walk. I had already matched last weeks goal so anything I did today was just gonna put me over and set me up for next week. The night before I had planned on just doing 2 miles but when I was on the walk I decided to push myself and completed the 4 mile walk instead. I felt really good on the walk and even better when I once again completed my goal, next weeks goal is more than achievable too.

For Breakfast my mom made Soy Horizon and Eggs and that was better than I had originally though it would be. We did eat Breakfast a bit later than usual so I decided to just eat a nectarine for breakfast and I picked at a few pieces of the fajitas my mom prepared for dinner. The other day my mom made some more lentil soup so I mixed that with the fajitas and it was so damn good. I have gotten really good at either reaching my calorie goals or being slightly below them. My discipline has gotten way better and I really feel like I can continue to progress and get better as I go.

I did my Fantasy Football Draft today and that was fun, I spent the majority of the day with my nephew and brother in law doing the draft. Once I was done I was a bit tired so I decided to take and set my timer so I didnt run late for dinner. After I had eaten dinner and went out back and battled the ants for my puppy Brett and got him taken care of. He ate and drank and I tried to clean up a little but it was time for another walk so I cut that short. My evening walk was great, I started off with disney music to mix things up and then I ended up with Christmas Music which really put me in a great mood. I could have done the 4 miles but I decided to keep it simple and do the 2 so I could preserve my feet for tomorrows planned 10 miles. I do plan on doing some small jogging this week too so that should be fun.

Well I really cant think of anything else other than the weigh in tomorrow's hopping its a good one!


Day Thirty One

Bit of an up and down day, kinda feel like I am letting things that I cant control begin to dictate the few things I can. My body feels likes its recovering from some intense workout that probably happened in a dream because I have just stuck to my walking. Financial issues are always at the top of my list in regards to concerns and I have a few weak moments of second guessing myself. As optimistic as I am and as much as I stick to my Never Settle motto I do have these days every so often that take the wind out of my sails. But the best part of it is that I always come out of them stronger and more aware of myself and what put in me in that position. I am very blessed because my family is a consistent support system from me even though I have very little to offer them at the moment. That is one thing that bothers me because I worked very hard to get away from that and many years later here I am, different room but pretty much the same story. I have a few close friends that are more like family that keep pushing me and of course I have Football Season coming up....Go Pack Go!

I am not shy to voice out my issues in an attempt to hear someones perspective that may help me so I have been doing a lot of that. The thing I hear the most is that with any big/aggressive change there are consequences that can be either working or non working. I believe that 100% but the biggest issue I have is not in the consequences, due to my decision to walk away from my previous employer I lost a few relationships that I treasured. I hate that it happened but I know I can live with it because I have no choice on the matter. There are other issues going on in my life that will either help me or really hurt me that I have no control in and I just cant stand that. Those are the issues I constantly think about and those are the issues that in my weakest moments beat me down. Many times in my life I have let those issues eat away at any confidence I had left and left my self sitting in a pit beating myself up.

Not This Time....

Because of the issues I could not control I found my self seeking some direction to avoid self destruction and so that I can better myself during this time. Thirty days ago I began a journey that guaranteed me one thing, I was in control and that was something I desperately needed. In one month I lost 18lbs and will have a weigh in about 3 days later that I will count for my final weigh in for the month. Never in my life have I achieved something of this magnitude that only required consistency and discipline. The best part of it was that the results and benefits of this achievement where for me and only me. The last 9 years of my life I spent doing everything I can do to help kids and their families earn a shot at another chance at life. I gave all I had to this worth wild cause that to this day means the world to me and I cant go a minute without really missing all those wonderful moments that I had with everyone involved. No one can ever question my dedication or the results that where created and for the first time in a very long time I was in a position to focus all that energy on myself. I went through so many stressful, negative, depressing, and just terrible moments during the last 9 years but nothing ever came in the way of me helping my kids and their families so that's the mentality I must have while I am on this journey and every other journey I go on for the rest of my life.

What we as people do when we are down decides how far we go in life and dammit I will go far!

I am at 42 Miles Completed and will knock out my goal of surpassing last weeks completed miles tomorrow morning. I am going to have a great day tomorrow and hopefully do well on my Fantasy Football Draft. I am gonna have a great weigh in and then continue to push and should any thought, feeling, person, situation or anything else get in my way I will simply conquer it....because thats what I do.

I Love My Family
I Love My Friends
I Love My Life



#Never Settle

Friday, August 22, 2014

Day Thirty

Its been One Month since I started this wonderful but most times exhausting journey of mine and I know that I am so much better for it.  I have never made it this far before so its uncharted territory for me but I think I have a pretty good grip on it. Monday is my next weigh in so I am pushing myself very hard to get a meaningful result to really start this next month off right. I have to admit that this walking is starting to take its toll on me, I did 12 miles yesterday and then 10 miles today which is getting me closer to my 46 mile goal. Having done 36 miles so far is pretty good considering that I took Wednesday off so its making me feel like next weeks goal of 50 will be easier than it sounds. I am finishing my miles faster now but my feet are feeling the extra walking compared to how they felt when I first started a few weeks ago. I have a pretty good pace now overall so that makes me think that jogging is not to far away assuming I lose enough weight for it not to hurt my joints. Overall I am feeling great outside of the soreness but even that is not to bad.

For Breakfast I had a cup of coffee as I was running behind so I planned for another Brunch which I am starting to like. After completing my first 4 mile walk I got home and got right to chopping up some tomato, bell pepper, onion, and ham for a 2 egg omelet  which was really good. Staying away from the carbs and bad sugars has gotten a lot easier but I do look forward to my reward day assuming I drop over 5lbs on Monday. I watched some Top Gear and did some chores and work online for about 2 hours and then decided to go for a walk. This time the sun was blasting so I made it a simple 2 mile walk which was done real quick. Before I left for the 2 mile walk I put some chicken out to defrost so I could have it for dinner. I took a long shower after my walk as I had thought I was going out, plans changed so instead I took a short nap and then did a few Fantasy Football Mock Drafts. I have to admit my Friday was pretty lame. Around 5ish I did start preparing my dinner which was some grilled chicken strips with vegetables on some beans. I put some green salsa on it and got some Mexican cheese and I loved every bite of it. I lounged about till 7ish before leaving for my walk which I really wasnt looking forward to. I started off slow but I did pick the pace up when I got into my little fantasy world in my head. The question was what if I won the lottery, what would I do so that kept me focused for the majority of the walk. 22 miles in two days is not fun but I am going to make is 30 miles in 3 days so I will see how I feel then.

I am gonna hit it hard and really watch what I eat these next few days, I really dont want to have a great weigh in. Its all I really have as far as short term results so I need a big win here to hold me over till the next weigh in.

My next goal is to scrub up some money so I can up my gear, my shirts are super big on me now and causing some issues. I hope either my Unemployment issue gets ironed out or that I get hired asap so I can pay my bills and get form fitting clothing. I do my best to focus on just what I can control and do my best in other situations that I may not have the final say it. I just have to keep pushing and all will be well, it might be hard but I know it will be well.

Never Settle

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Day Twenty Nine

I cant believe its almost a month now since I started all this, I would be lying if I told you I actually thought I would stick to this. I really do believe that because the many changes currently going on in my life that I feel like this is the only thing I can control and because its good for me it I am glad my stubbornest is paying off. I have not cheated or even had a treat day because I dont want to set myself back any. A lot of things will be be figured out here in the next few weeks which will lead to some more changes so I really need to cash in now. Taking yesterday off was good for me but I knew that I would have to push even harder today to make up for lost time and stay within striking distance to this weeks goal. I was not feeling it though as yesterday was really nice so again I had to find the motivation to get going. It didnt help that I woke up later than usual and that the weather went from a cool breeze and some rain to hot and sticky.

I missed breakfast due to walking up late so I used that as motivation to get my walk started so I could have brunch. The morning 4 Mile walk was pretty easy, I knocked it out rather quickly which was great because I was really hungry once I got home. I ate yesterday left over Tuna Salad and skipped any bread because I felt like it would just hold me back. After eating I began to watch Top Gear on Hulu Plus, the British version is just so much better than what we have here in the states. I cant wait to own a Super Car like the ones they show on the show. After a few hours I  decided to get going again on another walk, I made this one 4 miles as well and I did get a bit winded and tired due to the sun being out and bright but it was nice because I did get to sweat a bit. Right before I finished the last mile I noticed my calf muscles where really sore which surprised my because I have been doing this for about a month. I just hope that its the muscle building up as apposed to anything negative. I still had a few hours before dinner so I decided to have me a chopped apple with a scoop of Vanilla Greek Non Fat Yogurt as a snack. It held me over long enough so that I could have my dinner right at about 6:30pm so that I could be done before 7pm.

Yesterdays left overs where pretty much just broth and vegetable so I put that in a bowl and added some beans with lime and salsa. Oh it was good, my love for vegetables is growing more and more! I even have noticed that I use salsa a lot more than usual so that good too, more flavor. When I had finished I new I was going for another walk but I didn't know how long it would be. I talked to myself during the first mile and tried to convince myself that 2 miles would be fine as that would leave me at 10 for the day. The problem was that I knew 10 was easy but pushing for the extra two would be harder and that what I needed. So I knocked out 4 miles and it did take much longer than the previous walks do to me being sore  and just the lack of motivation I think. I did pick up the pace in the last mile just because I wanted to be done with it. I chatted a small bit with my sister and mom, they had some slimfast and kellog morning drinks but I cant have them just yet due to the carbs and the sugar. I really look forward to getting into a position where I can enjoy everything that I like in moderation rather then having to avoid it like the plague.

So 26 miles done and I will look to get at least 10 done tomorrow so I can be in the home stretch come the weekend and not be stressed out about it.

Back to watching Top Gear for a bit before knocking out for the night.

NS... :)

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Day Twenty Eight

Today was a great day, I had the wonderful opportunity to have breakfast and a long conversation with such a great person. Mrs. Posada was my History Teacher when I was in my sophomore year of High School. She was tremendous in helping see the world from a different perspective and getting me to understand that a good life was obtainable. We talked about some great memories we had as well as where out careers had taken us up to this point. Due to my recent struggles I was happy to know that she had also overcame some hard times and that karma righted some of the wrongs as she continued to peruse her passion. At one point her daughter called her and told her something along the lines that I was struggling which of course was not something I share to openly but she said that "god spoke to her" which really shocked me and made me feel better. I dont think I am struggling in the traditional sense but this new world that I am in and the direction I am going does have me questioning myself at times which leads me to struggle. Mrs. Posada always had great intuition which I am sure is where her daughter got it from. The meal was quick but the conversation was really long and I was happy to hear her insight on my recent dealings while being able to hear about hers.

We went to Mimi's Cafe and I had a Bacon Avocado Omelet without the toast and potatoes with a side of fruit. Having meals without all that extra stuff is becoming easier and I am starting to realize how to enjoy my food a bit more instead of over eating.

Mrs. Posada encouraged me to go to school which I do intend on doing and offered to guide me a bit which I really do appreciate. I shared with her my current goals and ambitions and she gave me some great feed back and some good things to think about. One thought that has been with me as of late was that she was 28 when she began college and finished it rather quickly which led her to becoming my teacher. I never forgot that and it did make it easier for me to walk away from a good financial situation but not so good moral situation. She stressed the idea that I could do it and I believe her and again love that she remembered so much of who I was and how I have grown. Even if after so many years passing and with the limited interaction I felt like I was talking to a friend and I really needed that. Her memory is amazing, she has been teaching for over 10 years and she still remembered every key moment from when I was in her class. Good Times.

Our conversation did run and we technically could have had lunch while were still there, we wrapped things up and while I was walking to my car I realized the time just flew by. Once I got home I did have some tuna that my sister had prepared for a quick light lunch and then had to secure my dog from the rain. I decided to take the whole day off from walking since the weather was not being nice and I felt like giving my body a good rest. I am going to have to push myself pretty hard this week to reach my goal my I know I can do. I find that since I have been on this journey I have never been without the needed motivation to get me going. It comes from family, friends, former teachers, tv, movies, music, social media, and even a HOF Green Bay Packer. I am very blessed to say the least.

I had a little bit of a late dinner but I kept it light as my brother in law had made a delicious soup with plenty of vegetables that I really enjoyed. My brother also came by so it was really nice to spend the afternoon with him since I have only scene him a few times since I returned home a few months ago. He has always had a way about him that really makes me enjoy being around him and my mom is always excited when she has more than one of her sons in the house so that was really good to see. His work and family ethic is something that I look up to and I think his positive perspective really rubbed off on me throughout the years. The one not so good thing that happened was that my sister had the day off which I forgot about and she made me a great breakfast. I left early and because I had my phone on vibrate I didnt get back to her until about noon. Its not everyday that she does that so I hope that she makes it a habit and maybe lets me know a bit more in advance so I dont miss out. But really like they say, its the thought that counts so I was very grateful that she took the time and consideration to cook something for me even though she decided to eat my portion. :) She is awesome.

I have a few new books to pick up:

The Poison Wood Bible   By: Barbara Kingsolver
 East Of Eden                   By: John Steinbeck

 Well I think I will sleep well and look forward to hitting it hard tomorrow.

Never Settle 

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Day Twenty Seven

I felt really good today, I slept great last night and I woke up with some really good energy. I got everything done early, I was actually done with everything including my walking by 6pm which was new. When I went for my walk this morning I didnt want to stop, I felt great and tried to keep the same pace I had with my sister the day before. I was feeling a bit sore but for the most part it was smooth sailing and I love when that happens. I really wasnt hungry when I got home so I tinkered around online and watched a little TV before I decided to eat. It was about 10am so I decided to go with more of a brunch and ate some amazing tuna my mother had made. It was a pretty hefty portion which I decided to have on a slice of toasted whole wheat bread. The tuna has aregano and strong hint of lime and I really enjoyed it, this was the first piece of bred I had in over a week. I had already done 4 miles in the morning and intended on just doing 2 more but because I ate the piece of bred I took another 4 mile walk. This one was a bit more difficult as I just didnt have the same energy I had in the AM but I made it through and was happy it was a cool afternoon.

After knocking out 8 miles I though about maybe just making it 10 but my feet where starting to hurt so I called it off. I am on pace to achieve my goal of surpassing my miles from last week and thats all that counts for me. I really want to get into the 270lbs range, I dont care if its 279.9 but I just really want to get there. I tried to think back to the last time I was at that weight and I honestly cannot remember. It kinda made me sad for a second but I got over it because I was not about to let this great start get away from me. After the weigh in on Monday I have been on cloud nine and hope to continue to progress and not have another bad weigh in. I have issues that need to be resolved but I have done everything I could do and they are in other peoples hands so I just have to let go and pray for the best. I don't believe that everything happens for a reason but I do think that everything in life is a blessing and a test so its up to you the person to decide how to approach it all and what the outcome will be.

Tomorrow morning I get to see my most favorite teacher from High School, its been almost 15 years since I have scene her and I just cant wait. She was the first person to really open my eyes to a world that I never knew existed. I remember she promised to let me drive her BMW after I graduated High School but like a young fool I didnt take her up on it as I ended up getting kicked out of that schoo....a story for another time.

I did end up having a chicken salad today for dinner with a piece of beef jerky which has no carbs and I completely forgot about. The jerky made my day and I will be going out tomorrow to pick me up a pack of some peppered jerky. I have been on the hunt for something to snack on that has no carbs or sugar but was striking out and finally thanks to my brother in law I found it.

Gonna do a video this week, I really think that will change some things up so when I do put it up let me know what you think about it.

Well another good day....Never Settle

Monday, August 18, 2014

Day Twenty Six

Oh boy did my morning start off great!

So I had said if I didn't lose more than 5lbs that I would head straight to Wienerschnitzel and sit and wait for them to open. Well fortunately for me I did not have to do that since I ended up losing 8lbs.

The results of a very stressful  week ended up paying off as of this morning I weighed 284lbs which is 1 pound lighter than it says on my Drivers License which makes me a liar no more. People have been asking me how I did it, and here is the short answer for this past week:

42 Miles Walked
Very Low Carb Diet
2000 Daily Calorie Limit
Lots of water
No Soda, Juice, Energy Drinks
No Bread, Rice, and all the other good stuff I really like with Donuts being one of them
Little to no sugar unless it comes from a fruit.
Weight Lifting
Sore Body
Stressful moments where you want to give up

This morning I left a little after 6:30am with my sister to go for our 4 mile walk, my niece woke up so she got to come to. My sister is crazy fast when she walks and I thought that my niece would slow her down since she was pushing her cart...Nope! We kept a really good pace all the way through and it had me out of breathe which is nice because I want to push myself. Once we got back she had to get ready to go to work so being the awesome brother I am I fixed her up a little oatmeal for the road. Yeah I'm pretty awesome. :)
After she left I had full on intended on staying awake but that didnt last as I passed out the moment I hit my bed. I slept in which was good because I had another horrible night of sleep, I am getting ready to pull the Nyquil bottle out even though that thing is clearly the devil in syrup form. Ill give it a few more nights for it to work itself out before I stoop to that level, I am sure my body is just adjusting from the changes. My brother in law made some of his world famous ground turkey with a little bit of corn so I decided to throw that on top of a salad for lunch with some green salsa and ranch. It tasted different but in a good way, not to big on ground turkey but my brother in law makes it really edible so that's great.  After lunch I had to run some errands around town which is always fun, had to go to the bank and then shopping which now is no longer fun. I used to love shopping and trying out new things, now I just look at the label and pretend the Oreos are not starring at me. One of my former students mentioned on Facebook that eating a Sniker once in a while is not a bad thing, and I agree but I just dont think I am ready for that just yet. Got to stay consistent and aggressive within reason or else it will all buckle and I just cant have that.

A few good things came out of my shopping, got a new low calorie/carb ranch salad dressing that is pretty good and some Fuze Slenderize Drinks that I can drink once in awhile when I just dont want any water or tea. I sampled one of the drinks today and it was pretty good, its not a Dr. Pepper but it will do for now. It wasnt to long before I got home that 5pm hit and I had to get my dinner going if I wanted to knock out a 2 mile walk before it got to late. I grilled some chicken and of course threw it on a salad with some of that new dressing and it was great. Then I headed out for my walk which was a breeze and I made it back before the sun set. My plan for this week is to do start of with 6 miles today and then do 8-10-8-6-4-4 which will leave me at 44 and thus will reach my goal of walking more miles than I did the week before. I really cant wait to start running these miles but for now I will walk it out because my knees and joints feel great and I dont want to mess that up. Oh and I plan on doing a 5K with my sister so that will be pretty epic, that goal will be to beat all the old!

Overall it was a pretty great day and like I said yesterday, I will continue this positive momentum onwards and push for a great result next week.

Thanks to all the support I received on Facebook today, I finally let my friends know what little journey I was on and the results so far. The comments where amazing and the tips really got me thinking so again thank you so much. I hesitated to put myself out there on Facebook because I didnt want to claim this until I had something to show. God only knows how many times I put on there that I planned on losing weight then never did it,this time will be different.

Hope this week stays positive, I will be doing my best to keep it that way....Never Settle.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Day Twenty Five

I woke up this morning with a horrible migraine headache, I have not one of these in years but it made sense to me since this week has sucked so much that it would end with a migraine. I kinda laughed it off and got ready for my walk, I did drink a bottle of my favorite Naked Mighty Mango Juice for breakfast and to get me going. Knowing that I was already even with last weeks mile results made my morning 2 mile walk a lot more enjoyable. I kept a solid pace and enjoyed the warm sun and the nice cool breeze. When I got home I decided that I was done at 42 Miles this week and was hoping that if I took the majority of the day off that I would heal up a bit. I reached my goal for the 3 week and now plan to start off strong in the morning so that I can get some good momentum going for the new week. My sister is going to join me again on my walk which is great because she pushes me with her pace and its always great to talk to her about whatever, its awesome brother/sister bonding time. It also gets her out of the house for a bit which she needs but never really has a chance to take. Tomorrow she will join me a for a 4 mile morning walk and then we plan to do a 5 mile walk sometime this week depending on her schedule. She committed to joining me on my diet so lets see if she can handle it because I am about to break so I am really hoping for a really good result in tomorrows weigh in. 

I did a lot of lifting today on the bench, my arms feel like noodles so I know I am doing it right. Even though the fat turning into muscle is gonna hurt me on the scale I know it will benefit me in the long haul. I dont expect another almost 10lbs weight loss like I got after my first week but I am crossing my fingers and toes that its over 5lbs. The reason being is that it will get me into the 280lbs mark and I have not been there in a very long time. On my Drivers License it says I way 285lbs, I cant wait for the day that my DL is not making a liar out of me. For lunch I combined the left over beef fajitas and the lentil soup with some salsa and loved every bit of it. I stayed away from salads today, I had my fill of those this week and I dont want to start hating them so I took a break. The fajitas where packed with vegies so I didnt miss to much in regards to that. I slept horrible again last night which makes almost 4 nights in a row now, I really need to figure out whats up because its starting to affect me. I slept a lot today, way more than my casual nap and I feel like it was my bodies way of telling me to back off. I always feel guilty when I sleep during the day but with the combination of the fatigue, headache, and lack of energy I quickly submitted to it today. I woke up a few times and went out and played with the kids and lifted weights so I did get some good work in between the nap.

I was really tempted to go for a walk late into the afternoon, after I feed Brett I really had nothing else to do. I was online for a bit but that got boring until my most favorite teacher from high school contacted me via Facebook. She was my History teacher during my Sophomore year of High School and she was the best. Her name is Mrs. Posada. She always the saw the best in people and did her best to introduce us to a world we never though we belonged in. She always said I needed to become a Lawyer do to my wonderful ability to argue. It was her that put the idea of "Pay it forward" in my head and I took that and ran with it. If not for her I can assure you that my time working with at risk teens and struggling families never would have happened. We planned to have breakfast on Wednesday which will be awesome, I cant wait to see here. I remember her first day, she tried to play of her last name and claimed she was married to the long time NY Yankee Great Catcher Jorge Posada. I sniffed that out quick and she laughed it off an continued to push through a very vocal group of students. The last day of school that year was the last time I saw her, a few friends of mine and myself went back to the classroom for one more goodbye as she was packing up. It was her only year at Montclair High School and I was very blessed to have had her as a teacher.

I decided to eat dinner a bit earlier since I wanted my body to digest my food to ensure the best result on the scale tomorrow. Im sure you can tell I am so damn nervous, I almost quit last week when the results didnt show and god only knows how or why I made it through. I just really need a win right now and if its on the scale then it would just be that more special to me. I ended up eating the rest of the beef fajitas before my sister could get to them and this time put some cheese on it and it tasted like a Philly, well just without the bread. Oh how I miss bread. :(

I hit the bench a few more times before I called it a night and am happy that I took the rest of the day off after getting to 42 miles for the week. At about 630 me and my sister will be going on a 4 mile walk and I will need my body well rested to keep up with her and her super speed walking. One thing that has been bothering me and its a bit hard to talk about but its that I have been experiencing some chaffing inbetween my legs. It really makes it hard to really push myself when it gets bad so I will be doing some research on it tomorrow to see if there is anything I can do about it. I cant really be walking with a gab between my legs that you can fit a watermelon through, its just not cool. Funny thing is that I always called the chaffing "Fat Guy Problems"  but when I looked it up really quick yesterday turns out this is more a women problem, especially when they are pregnant so that made me laugh. Cant wait till it becomes a non issue.

Well here's hoping for a good result tomorrow, I told my sister that if I didnt lose more than 5lbs that I would be going to Weinersnitchel tomorrow to eat my sorrows away. A small part of me is hoping foe a 4 1/2 lbs drop but the high majority is praying anything above 5lbs.


Saturday, August 16, 2014

Day Twenty Four

Last week I had completed 40 miles and my goal was to surpass that so that I can continue to progress and achieve the healthy body I have always wanted. If you read the last weeks blog post you can see that I was not in the best of mindset and the idea of completing my goal with just that, an idea. I didnt feel like I was really pushing for it and on top of it my personal problems kept distracting me and I felt like I was losing. I kept on saying that I was "In striking distance" and that if I pushed hard one of these days I could achieve my goal. The days would pass and again I would find myself not pushing and barely chipping away at the only thing in my life that I had control for the moment. Finally last night I made a push, I completed 6 miles which left 10 shy of matching last weeks results with two more days in the week. So I figured that if I did 6 miles per day I would be fine, essentially I was settling for the bare minimum. I even though for awhile that matching the goal would be good enough but I tried to quickly squash those thoughts.

By the end of today I knocked out 10 miles and matched last weeks total with 1 more day left in the week and now I am beyond striking distance....I AM AT THE DAMN DOOR!

Looking back I just cant come up with how I got here, 3 weeks ago when I did 36 miles I was in the best mood and nothing could ever bring me down. The week after I pushed it to 40 and I was pumped and feeling great and looking to feel even better. Then I lost .6 pounds and despite that I started the week great but it just got harder after that. The new low carb diet I started was leaving me without very little energy and I was not feeling as good as the weeks before. I starting feeling negative but I dealt with it on a daily basis and never went to bed with the idea of giving up. I had tremendous support from my family and the great friends I met on and on Twitter. Each day I heard what I needed to hear to help me get over the hump, I would see things on TV and use them as motivation, but yet I still felt like reaching my was just a dream. I honestly felt like this was it, if I didn't reach my goal that I would quit and feed into all the negative feelings that I had been successfully fighting off and truthfully, I was almost okay with it. For whatever reason I kept on pushing, even the most little things counted for me, no soda, no carbs, no unnecessary sugars, I didnt waver. I know I am strong and committed but never did I think I would be here because I never new how to get here or if here was even a real place for people like me.

So I made it, I have one more day and a goal that just means the world to me right now because I know that its all I have. For now at least. My morning meal was some fruit, have I told you how much I just love Plums! I never knew how good they where until I decided to taste one about a week ago, they are by far my most favorite fruit. They taste so good and are only about 60 Calories with the type of sugar you should have in your diet. Please if you have not given them a chance do yourself a favor and go gets some, you will not regret it. Any how my loving mother made some beef fajitas loaded with all my favorite vegetables and I loved it and of course love her not just for the meal but for everything that she has been for me and my family. I guess it made sense that I didnt quit when the going got tough for me this week, because every time it got rough for her she created the best possible result and continued to build on it with the whole world on her shoulders. She has  tought me lessons that have helped shape my dedication and heart and man I just love her so much. My older brother had came over but because I thought it would be cool to walk in 95 degree weather I spent most of the time he was here trying to treat my heat exhaustion but fortunately we did get to hang out for a bit before he left. I ate a little of the food my mom made as my brother, brother in-law and their kids ate pizza, at one point my brother put the beef fajita on the pizza and just had me drooling. Later on the day I decided to combine the lentil soup left over we had with the beef fajitas and oh boy was that a great choice.

If you noticed I didnt go into to much detail about the heat exhaustion and the 4 mile walk in 95 degree weather. I dont believe I need to because the story is I wanted to be home when my brother was there so I wanted to knock out the walk early and it  pretty much just resulted in me sweating my ass of to the point of passing out and having hot ass water to drink because that's what happens to bottled water in the heat. The moral of the story is DONT LET YOU GOALS, INTENTION, AND STUPIDITY MAKE YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE IMMUNE TO FATIGUE AND THE HEAT. I learned a valuable lesson today and I will never repeat the mistake I made, I will in the future plan accordingly to ensure my results are where I need them to be.

I completed 10 miles today and did well in regards to my diet so I will carry all this over to tomorrow and they hope for a positive result on the scale on Monday.

Be Happy And Never Settle

Friday, August 15, 2014

Day Twetny Three

A little better than yesterday, had a few frustrating moments but I made it through just fine and I am inching my way closer to completing my goal this week. I woke up pretty late, I have not been sleeping well and its starting to show. Once I awoke I had some errands to run which took longer than expected but I got them done. The day flew and before I knew it half of the day had gone by, I had not done any walking and had missed breakfast and was about to miss lunch. I got going and prepared myself a Chicken Salad which was great like always and tried to figure out my plan for the rest of the day. Because I have not been sleeping well I noticed my mid day naps are occurring a bit more frequently than they where before. After I took a nap and tried to get myself going I really got to thinking about why its getting harder to continue of my journey. Truthfully this is the farthest I have gone without quitting so its kinda like uncharted territory. I kept in mind that I was still in striking distance to my goal of passing the amount of miles walked last week and that was gonna be my win for the week.

I got dressed and headed out for my first walk of the day at around 5pm which is super late, last week I would have knocked out at least 6 miles by now. I did the 4 mile walk and was again feeling a bit tired afterwards and was about to call it a day, when I got to my room I kicked my shoes off and again was feeling like just put everything on the back burner and being happy I lost 10lbs. I sat on my bed for about 20 mins and just said "No". I got up and put my shoes back on and went to the back yard to fee my dog and hang out with him a bit and then went for another walk. I would have done another 4 mile walk but it was getting late and I had not eaten Dinner yet. My sister and mom where gonna bring me a Salad from El Pollo Loco so I knew that at least my dinner would be home by the time I was done. I must have gotten my second wind because the 2 mile walk was nothing and to my surprise I ended the day with 6 miles completed and I was still in striking distance of completing my goal. I feel like I just need  a win and this may be all I have this week so I really need to make it count. I ate my salad a little past 7pm which sucked as I had done a really good job of not eating after 7pm but it was worth a good cause because I got a fair share of walking done. If I am gonna complete my goal I have to walk at least 10 miles tomorrow which is gonna be hard because I have not done that in over a week and I just cant find the motivation in the morning to get going.

I have a few things in my that might get me going, here is hoping that it works.

Im off to bed

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Day Twenty Two

Very stressful day.

Not being employe for over a month now is starting to take its toll on me and I have to remedy this sooner rather than later. My unemployment claim has been delayed for reasons that have nothing to do with me but I of course have to be patient. I finally had to sell some items of mine that I worked very hard for and because of that I didnt have much of an appetite for the first half of the day so I didn't eat. I regret that now because I have done such a good job of being consistent with my diet but fortunately I only missed breakfast. For lunch I had some lentil soup that my mom made the day before that was really good and with that I began to get out of whats been a week long funk. I skipped my morning walk because I was dealing with my finances so that also was not good, I am still in striking distance of my goal so that is something I am keeping in mind. I have been feeling a bit more energized and I am assuming thats my body getting used to the diet I am on. I have not broken my diet but I can assure you that is has not been easy. You see I eat when I am upset, sad, confused, and bored. I have pretty much been a ball of all those things this week but I have held strong.

Everything else in my life is not running as smooth as I would want it to be so I am holding as tight as I can to this diet and dropping the weight. Its the only thing I can really control right now.

For Dinner I ate a really good chicken salad, I am really getting good at making salads. Before Dinner I decided to watch another Netflix Movie that I have been holding onto for a long time, Silver Linings Playbook. Again I am happy that I waited to watch this movie as it did do a lot for me in regards to clearing up my perception. If you have not watched it please do yourself the favor and watch it asap.....Excelsior!

After Dinner I did go for a walk, it was 4 miles and I actually did seem to get tired so that was not good. I really need to get back on my grind like the week before and continue to push through these walks, By this time last week I think I had already beat the previous week and had done multiple 10 mile days so I am clearly not working at my best level. Tomorrow is a knew day and I will attempt to start it early so I can hit 10 miles for the day and get closer to completing my goal. I feel like once this horrible week is over and I prove to myself that I made it despite the consistent setbacks, I would have learned another method of over coming. There is always something good in everything we go through, you just have to find the silver lining and embrace it.

Never Settle!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Day Twenty One

I woke still feeling a little down, I planned on skipping all my walking today since my feet hurt and truthfully I was just not in the mood. I ate my Oatmeal which I didnt enjoy as much as the others, it was apple cinnamon which I thought I liked but just not in this form. After that I decided to watch a movie I have had from Netflix for over a year, Perks of being a Wallflower. It was everything I knew it was going to be and I am glad I waited this long to watch it. It premise is simply over coming any life struggles or setbacks and becoming better. The entire movie from start to finish changed my perception and really got me thinking. As soon as I was done watching it I put my shoes on and got ready for a 4 miles walk. Before I left I gave the movie to my sister because I knew she would enjoy it and also texted one of my most favorite people in the world and recommended it to her. Anytime I hear or see something that is motivational I spread it to the people I care for the most and hope they enjoy it.

The walk went really well, my feet didn't give me any issues and I felt good for the entirety of the walk. I kept up a good pace and the new music I downloaded really made the walk enjoyable. I went old school with some 50's and 60's classics and they really had me feeling good. When I got home I put together a little salad with some of the left over meat from yesterday and enjoyed that. It was pretty small so I also ate my new favorite fruit, Plums are just so damn good! I have not been feeling to great this week and it may be because I am limiting carbs from my diet and I have been pretty sluggish. The lack of energy in combination with a piss poor attitude are making this week one to forget, I am on pace to surpass my miles walked from last week so that has been a bright spot. Also I finished watching 30 Rock and that got me pretty sad too, I am grasping at anything positive right now and coming up with very little but I am blessed to come up with anything at all.

I did take a mid day nap even though again I was trying to avoid that, it did me some good though since I felt pretty good when I woke up. It was almost 6pm when I started making my dinner, the meal was saved when I saw some chicken in the freeze, god I love my mom! So I hooked up a really tasty chicken salad and enjoyed every bite of it. I decided to finish off the day with another walk, just a 2 mile because it was getting dark and again was happy that my feet didnt give me any issues. I really enjoy the late walks, its just something about the cool breeze that I really like. When I got home I went out back to take care of my good ole buddy Brett, I spent some time with him giving him a good scratch which he loved. I really miss having him in the house but I believe his time as a outside dog is coming to an end soon enough so he and I will both tough it out.

After I came inside I chatted with my mom for a bit and then I was off to write this wonderful blog that has played a major part in keeping me going. I love that I get to reflect on all that I have gone through since I started my diet and I really look forward to writing this every night. I am starting to feel a bit better and hope it carries on to tomorrow so I can have a better day and continue to make progress. Rome was not built in a day and neither will the foundation I will use to build a better, brighter and memorable life away from the wonderful Nevada Desert.

Never Settle People....It Builds Character! :)

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Day Twenty

I had a better day today, It started off early with a morning 4 mile walk because I knew my brother was coming for a visit and I didnt want to miss out spending time with him and his family. When I got back from my walk my feet where killing me so I think I am starting to feel the wear and tear from walk 72 Miles in a 2 week window. So I decided to call it a day and give me feet a break and enjoy some family time in hopes that it would turn my not so positive outlook around. Its weird because I am the first to try and help people if they feel down and I always work to find the some positive outlook for them. But when it comes down to me I remind myself everything I would tell someone in my situation and I carefully workout the situation but it doesnt always click. I have been doing better outside of having 3 consecutive days of a black cat crossing my path, that just doesnt seem like a good omen if you ask!

I ate some Oatmeal with blue berries and crushed almonds and that was really good and then I ate a medium sized chef salad for lunch. Because my family was here we decided to BBQ some Carne Asada which is always one of my favorites. I made enough salad so I can have one for dinner with a little bit of beans and some of the meat we BBQ. I loved and it really hit the spot considering that the salad I ate for lunch did leave me a bit hungry, so hungry that I ate a plum shortly after eating lunch. I am doing my best to keep my meals balanced and simple and avoiding carbs as much as I can. My last weigh in is not bothering me as much as it did yesterday probably because I did vent about it to my brother when we made a quick run to the store. We did pick up Soda and Ice Cream, I avoided them both which I am proud of and I even skipped on having tortillas which was really hard. I have been having some really strong cravings but have been managing them. I feel another rough patch just around the corner but I am preparing myself so that I may overcome it and continue my journey.

At this point I have completed 14 Miles in two days and will work towards getting 10 done tomorrow, I really want to get going early so I can hopefully get 8 done before the sun really beats me down.

I feel like things that where within my grasp slipping away and plans are not working out the way I had planned them. I didnt think transitioning from Nevada or Losing the weight was gonna be this hard, I really do feel like I am being tested which sucks because I am not firing on all cylinders right now. I will come out ahead, I always do but I feel like this test will be a bit harder than most.

When its all said and done, I will Never Settle and thats what means the most to me and carries me through anything and everything that comes my way.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Day Nineteen

So when I weighed myself this morning I was not to happy with the results, I had worked so hard this week and I really thought that it was going to show. I weighed in at 291.6lbs which was not what I was expecting after walking 40 miles and all the extra stuff that I did, I did really well on my diet too. I have to admit that this did bring me down quit a bit and I didnt feel like doing anything, these are the type of walls that get me to quit. But because I new that I figured out quickly that I needed to be proactive in my approach so I got dressed and headed out for my morning walk just like I have been doing everyday for the last 19 days. I was all up in my head during the walk and was thinking pretty negative but I pushed through it and did it with a pretty solid pace. When I got home I ate my Oatmeal which had some nuts and peaches in it and I added a few Black Berries just to try it out and it was great. I tried to stay positive but then I got some not so good news about my unemployment and that just sent me into a spiral. I was feeling pretty low, it was a feeling I had not had for months and had worked hard to get rid of. A few hours had passed and I went on Facebook and saw the tragic news about Robin Williams passing away from an apparent suicide. That cleared up my perspective real quick as there was no way I was gonna allow myself to dip deeper into this negative feeling when I knew the world as a whole had lost an Icon who excelled on putting smiles on peoples faces.

This type of news hits me hard, I have always had an issue with mortality and how I just dont know how much time I or my loved ones have left. When I had heard a few months back about the unfortunate death of Paul Walker it got be thinking to the point that I decided that my current situation was not one I wanted to be in and that I had to chase my dreams and make them a reality. People called me crazy and felt that I was over thinking the situation but the legacy that Paul Walker and now Robin Williams left was based on them pushing their boundaries a creating a level of success that affected the world. There charitable donations changed lives and they will forever be remembered for their huge hearts and endless amount of talent. I will never try to pretend to understand why or what Robin Williams was going through but I do know that he will be missed. He succeed in using his god given talents to make the world a better place through laughter. No one will ever fill his shoes because like I have said all day, he was definitely One of a Kind and we were blessed to have had him with us for as long as we did.  I wish Robin and Paul would not have had to meet there end on this earth the way they did but that is out of my hands. All I can do now is to send positive feelings out to their families and remember them in a positive light.

I know I am just 28 but I believe this to be the beginning of a new life and have gone all in after choosing to walk away from a steady income but negative personal environment. Phase 1 is loosing the weight and thats all I am going to focus on because I cant control anything else. I will continue to pursue employment and hope that I either land a job or that my unemployment comes through to help until I do find a job. I am ending my day with positive thoughts but a heavy heart, I just cant imagine how Mr. Williams family feels right now. I just pray that they are granted the strength necessary and receive the support they need.

I began to cut Carbs out of my diet and had a good day one with that, I ate a Chef Salad both at Lunch and Dinner with Oil and Vinegar Dressing which was amazing and plan to stick to this low carb atkins type diet for the next two weeks. Overall I did 10 Miles today and might feet were a little achy or else I would have gone for more. I will do my morning walk a little earlier, maybe around 7am so I can give myself a bit more resting time in between the 4 mile walks. I will not allow my negative and self limiting beliefs to run me and I will do my best to avoid triggers but should I run into a wall like I did today I will never settle and find a way to overcome it.   

“In sorrow we must go, but not in despair. Behold! we are not bound for ever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory.”
―J.R.R. Tolkien

RIP Robin Williams (1951 - 2014)

RIP Paul Walker (1973 - 2013)

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Day Eighteen

My day started a whole lot earlier than it normally does, we left early to The Church in LA to make sure we avoided traffic and a long line. I normally wake up just fine but for whatever reason this morning was a drag. It felt good to get dressed up though, haven't done that in awhile and the cool part was that I wore a pair of slacks that did not fit me when I was in Nevada so that was great. My family who tends to run late did a great job of being on time and my sister with the twins actually beat me to the church. We hoped that the kids would be in a good moo during the process but it started off rough and stayed that way for almost the entire first half but they calmed down just in time for the baptism and that went off without a hitch. We only go asked once to step outside if need be by the father and in our book that is a win, we had to break some small rules like not food or drinks but it was worth it. I knew I was not gonna have time for breakfast so I purchased a Naked Mighty Mango drink the night before for me to have. I love that drink so much and will be buying more in the future for days like these so I dont miss breakfast. Here is what was in it:

Fruit & Boosts15.2oz
  • 1 1/4 Mangos
  • 1/2 Orange
  • 1 3/4 Apples
  • 1/3 Banana
  • A hint of Lemon
Once the services where over we made out way back to the car but before we got the kids in some more comfortable clothing we decided to do a photo shoot.

My Mom (Holding Matthew) and Me (Holding Carolina)

My Sister & Me (Holding Alexus)

Because the day began so early I knew that going out to eat after the baptism was a possibility and was kinda nervous when I was told that we where going to a buffet. I tried to get it in my mind that I could do it and that it was going to be ok. When we got there I was impressed with the spread and even more with my approach. I began with a small plate of Chinese Food and tried to stick with the protein, it was either really good or I was hungrier that I thought. Then I got a little pot roast which was also really good and then I followed that up with a very small portion of some more pot roast and some mashed potatoes. At this point I knew I had pretty much ate away all my calories for the day and I was not to happy with that but I could not resist a small plate of dessert. I got really small samples of a few items and a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I didnt eat it all but at this point I was not to happy with myself for not managing myself better. I avoided the sodas and have not had an issue with that or the energy drinks so I thought that was a plus. Once we left I was still super tired and not looking forward to the long drive back home. I had to keep my mom awake so she could talk to me because I too was ready to fall asleep. When we arrived I tried not to go to sleep because I didnt want to ruin my night by not being sleepy but that lasted for about 10 minutes before I passed out.

I awoke around five still feeling guilty because I knew my weigh in was tomorrow morning and I really wanted that to go well. I have completed 36 miles which easily topped my previous weeks 32 and I intended on taking the day off but I felt pretty good every wise and my toe was a non issue so I got ready to go for a walk. I had to leave my mom and nephew behind because it was getting late and I wanted to go for a 4 mile walk and make it back before it got to late. I kept a pretty strong pace and had no issue with my now healed blister so pushed myself pretty good. I had no really issue on the walk other than it got dark on me pretty quick which was one thing I wanted to avoid. I felt great on the last stretch because I knew that I was about to complete something that if you asked me a month ago I never thought I would do. I kept up the pace with a huge smile on my face as I approached the door....I had completed 40 Miles for the week. My new goal now is to surpass the 40 I did this week in addition to completing a 5 mile walk this upcoming week.

One thing that I really liked was that the father spoke about the value of family and how you should enjoy them now instead of missing them later. I have been so focused on my weight loss and my unemployment issues that I do feel like I have not spent as much time as I should have these last two weeks. So on top of all my weight loss goals and planning for my relocation to LA I do plan on spending some more time with my family and hopefully putting together a little get together in the very near future. One reason I left Nevada was because I had missed so much family time and I have enjoyed being able to see my family on a regular basis as of late but I need to take that to another level and really make up for lost time. The fact that my nephews and nieces now actually recognize me means the world to me even though one of my nieces is convinces that my name is "Tia" as apposed to "Tio" but I will take what I can get for now.

Tomorrow is D Day and I cant weight....I really want a big drop in weight but I feel good knowing that regardless of the result I will Never Settle.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Day Seventeen

I know I said I was going to take the day off from walking after meeting my goal of surpassing last weeks amount of miles walked. I couldn't help myself, I had so much energy by the end of the day that I decided to do a 2 mile walk with my mom at a solid pace with the fresh wind blowing. So that brings me to 36 Miles completed this week with the possibility of me sneaking in a few more tomorrow. The blister on my foot didn't bother me at all during the walk and I made sure not to push myself, its just that having my weigh in on Monday I really want to continue to work at creating a great result. I have done so well this week and I really feel like its going to pay off come Monday and then I will let the momentum continue to roll into another successful week.

My morning went well, I slept in a little considering I was skipping my morning walk and I had nothing to really do because it was Saturday. When I did awake I quickly made my oatmeal which was good because my family decided to make some home fries, bacon and eggs and I didnt need that clouding my judgement. The oatmeal came out a little dry so I need to remember to add more water so I can make it a lot more enjoyable in the future. I spent the rest of the morning playing around with my fantasy football and baseball accounts as well as my twitter account. I should have done some laundry but I was taking the whole day off to the extreme and doing nothing. Well outside of hitting the weight bench, I was on that all day and I would pat myself on the back but I currently cant lift my arms over my head. I felt anxious to do something, I even washed all the morning dishes even though I didnt partake in the meal just to get some of the energy out. I felt good and was happy that my feet felt a million times better than the night before and that the blisters didnt go south on me. By noon I was pretty hungry and my mother did me a solid a prepared a salad for us and it was amazing, I try to emulate what she does in the kitchen but it never turns out as good as she makes it. So I had a Chef Salad for lunch which was great and I had enough left over to have one for dinner too.

I kept on hitting the bench throughout the day, I began with a rep of 30 then went to 20, 10 and then back to 10, 20, and 30 which made one set. I probably did slightly over 10 sets of these and boy are my arms feeling it. The reason I did it was to make sure I was ready to add weight and since I will be super busy tomorrow I just got it out of the way. On Monday I will be working with more weight which is great because its progress and thats what I want. I killed some more time watching some 30 Rock which makes me sad because I am about to complete the series and now have to find something else to watch. So I am taking it slow and enjoying every episode, I am sure I will start the season over again when I am done because its that awesome. When Dinner time came around headed to the kitchen to fix me up a salad and to my dismay my family beat me to it and left me the scraps. They even finished the ranch dressing and left me with the horrible options of sesame seed and thousand island dressing. I sampled them all and went with the thousand island dressing which left me with a decent tasting salad at best, I should have gone with no! Once I ate that I decided that I needed to go for a walk and my mom decided to join me, while she got ready I went out to take care of my dog Brett and then we were off for our walk. Man we knocked that out great, compared to the 4 mile walk this 2 mile walk was cake. When we got back we went to the store really quick and then once we got home we hung out in the back yard for a little bit. I finished my sets on the bench while they read and played on the iphone/ipad. I struggled at the very end because I added weight an tested it out but I got it done and I cant weight to hit that hard next week.

Tomorrow is the baptism of my nephew and 2 of my nieces of which I am god father of all three of them. So we will leave early and I am sure most of my day will be dedicated to that which is okay by me. My mind is just focused on Monday, I really hope to blow it away on my weigh in. I have worked my tail off and have learned so much which will help me with next weeks goals.

I am off to bed early to make sure I get enough rest for tomorrow.

What a great day, I am glad I went for my walk and didnt take the entire day off.....

Never Settle

Friday, August 8, 2014

Day Sixteen


My goal going into the week was to surpass the amount of miles that I walked last week which was 32. I took Monday off which I though was going to make the goal a bit harder to reach and it did a little but I got it done. I walked 8 miles on Tuesday and Wednesday and then 10 on Thursday and then 8 today which gave me a total of 34 miles completed. I did get a little blister on the pinky toe of my right foot so I was glad to complete the goal because I might have to take easy on the weekend so I can let it heal and not get worse. I really wanted to hit 40 miles completed but now I have a goal for next week and that is pretty awesome.

I started this morning early do to my sisters needing me to go to the swap meet with them, I grabbed a plum on the way out and that was my breakfast. We spent an hour or so walking around and then the boys went back home while the ladies continued to shop for the upcoming baptism. The morning was still cool so I took advantage of that and took off for my morning 4 mile walk. I changed it up a bit and listened to the ESPN Sports Radio App on my phone which kept me entertained for the most part. I felt really good during the walk and kept a pretty good pace throughout. I was really starting to get hungry about a half mile out so I picked it up a bit and as soon as I got home got to preparing my lunch. I made a 3 Egg Omelet with Ham, Provolone Cheese, Bell Pepper and Onion. Oh man was that good, I did also eat a slice of wheat bread and a few slices of tomato. I have been doing my best to not nap during the day so I can sleep better at night but it has not really been working out for me. After eating lunch I tried to stay busy but I passed out about an hour later.

When I woke up I was not feeling it, I was so sluggish and non responsive so going for a walk was not really something I wanted to do. I tossed around in bed for a bit before deciding to check my email, in it I saw that I had gotten a direct message on Twitter. A new friend of mine Blaine Viator who you can follow on twitter @Geauxcrotigers sent me such a positive message that got me going, it was perfect timing and I really needed it. He and so many others have helped me out so much by just being supportive and I am so grateful for it. So after reading the message I got ready for my second 4 mile walk of the day. At this point I had already logged 30 miles and was short 2 to just tie my mark from last week. During the walk I tried so hard to convince myself that tying the mark was good enough and that the blister on my pinky toe was gonna get worse if I pushed myself. Fortunately for me I was a pretty good high from the message and didnt by into the mind chatter so I pushed on and completed the 4 mile walk on what turned out to be a very hot afternoon. I was so excited when I got back, I had a huge smile on my face and hustled over to my sister to let her know. She always has a way to make me feel so much better than I already do when I achieve anything so I was happy she was home for this.

I decided to rest my feet for the remainder of the night, I really cant afford to let the blisters get worse since they are not really that bad right no. I will do some light walking tomorrow but will have almost no time on Sunday due to the baptism. I really though I would be pushing it to complete the amount of miles I did and I cant wait to beat this mark next week after what I hope is a really good weigh in. I have not broken my diet and have done a good job of balancing my meals and eating a lot of fruits and veggies plus I started taking Raspberry Keytone which I understand assist in the weight loss process. I also hope to have my financial issues worked out by next week so I can move on and sign up for that gym membership, obtaining employment in Southern California has been tough but I know it wont last and I will be working in no time. I just see it as divine intervention which is allowing me to get healthy for the next chapter in my life. I mean I am 28 which is over the hill right?!

I decided to throw up some younger pics of me just for fun:

Me on the Top Left with my mom and 2 of my oh so many nephews and nieces

That me in the middle with my wonderful mop on my head with my oldest niece and nephew

So I wasn't really over weight as a kid, it was just a very bad pattern I created once I really fell in love with food, tv, video games and anything else that would keep me from being active. Man I wish I could pull that hair off I miss my lushes locks.

Any how I did lose track of time after my last walk and 7pm was creeping ever so close so I decided to go out and pick up and burger for both me and my mom and fries we could share. I ended going to Carls Jr and got a Famous Star with Cheese and half and order of Criss Cut Fries that I washed down with a Green Tea.

So as I sit here typing this wonderful blog I have to admit that I am still feeling a little home sick, now you would ask, "I thought you where home" and I am. The other home I speak of is Amargosa Valley, NV where I have been pretty much since I turned 19 in 2005. I created a life there and was very successful in what I did, I had talked about moving for over a year and when it finally came and how it finally came about was not how I wanted it to be.  Many of my friendships where created because of where I worked and I really though that because of the amount of time I spent there that it had rose above that but I was wrong. I did leave with some hurt feelings and I have for the most part gotten over them and there are some true friendships that I hold dear to my heart that will always be a part of my life. Someone once told me that sometimes people come into your life because they need you at that moment and will eventually leave once they are ready and I just didnt like how that sounded. I do see now how it makes sense now and I hope to never be one of those people, I do my best to leave a positive impact in the lives that I am blessed to be in and in my current situation I just wish I could have the best of both worlds but that is not in the cards for me. Leaving Amargo Valley was one of the hardest things I ever had to do so I will make it worth and overcome the hardest obstacle in my life, my weight. This has nothing to really do with my weight loss but it was something I have been thinking about so I decided to get it out and I do feel so much better for it.

Thanks again to all that have supported me in this journey and I can assure that you have made this a little easier to handle and I will never settle.

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